all good things must come to an end

Ugh! The emotional roller coaster that this IF journey has me on is really starting to get on my nerves.

In mid January, dh got another SA report showing nothing. Honestly, I had prepared myself for that report. I wasn't, however, ready for the dr. to tell us to "be patient" and keep trying well into the summer. The whole "be patient" line after years of dealing with this was a real slap in the face and it sent me into a slump. I was a miserable bitch, to put it mildly.

Finally, within the last few weeks, I've started to come out of my funk. In fact, I was actually starting to feel a bit "normal" for the first time in a long time. That is mostly due to the fact that we've been hanging out with a group of friends that are all in the same stage of life as us and are just enjoying marriage. Don't get me wrong I love all of my other friends too but this particular group of friends are mainly all about having fun and enjoying married life....having babies and raising kids is the furthest thing from their mind right now and, to be honest, that's exactly what we need at this point. Dh and I have also been going out on a lot of date nights with one another and are just really enjoying one another.

Sadly, it seems as if this weekend has put me back in a stupper (is that how you spell that?) though and I'm not really sure why. I think it may have something to do with the fact that I found out on myspace that an old friend, much younger then I and newly married...were talking months...is now expecting. Damn myspace! I also got an e-mail from another friend who knows were struggling with IF that talked the entire way through her e-mail about all of her pregnant friends. So for days now I've been sitting here wallowing and it sucks!

I hate, hate, HATE feeling like this. I'm so grumpy and sad. I avoid people like the plague and when I have to be around people, I'm just plain miserable to be around. I'm sick of crying and feeling bad. IF sucks!